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Speaking the language of ritual & relationship, folklore & costume, stillness & self-discovery... |
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A New Dress Goes a Long Way
By Cornelia Powell | September 21, 2008
On an early morning walk recently, with the first glimpse of goldenrod in bloom and the smell of autumn in the wind, I was transported to the childhood ritual of “going back to school” — even accompanied by a knot in my stomach. The twinge came from recalling a sense of regret that the seemingly endless days of freedom, bicycling along country roads and wearing Bermuda shorts, were over.
In fact, shopping for new clothes may have been the only thing that made going back to school tolerable for me as a little girl. Needless to say, getting to wear a new dress went a long way with me!
But is it reason enough for a woman to get married? Read on.
Wedding gowns are certainly one of those telling costumes that highlight remembrances of things past, as Marcel Proust declares. My costume scholar colleague, Dr. Joanne Eicher, writes that our apparel “serves as one of the most important markers of cultural identity” and that the most visible and significant are wedding garments.
As I was putting together the just launched Autumn issue of Weddings of Grace Online Magazine — featuring “Wedding Gowns Tell Their Story” – I found many delightful stories to share of past and modern wedding dress lore. The stories reveal how these bridal costume decisions tap into a deep part of a woman’s consciousness as well as her sense of being feminine.
How we associate the memory of a wedding gown to our inner self makes a strong connection and puts us in this rather Proustian mood. See if you find yourself in these experiences:
- One of the brides I quote in the new issue of Weddings of Grace ponders whether or not getting to wear a beautiful new gown was the reason she decided to marry her boyfriend!
- Other women had regrets years later that they allowed pressure from society or peers to influence their decision.
- Another former bride-to-be learned so much about herself in how she went about selecting her wedding gown — and how she looked in it — that it became a life changing experience for her.
And then there is this aspect: Some of us just get a great deal of mileage out of wearing a new dress at any time, yes?
Love. Listen. Let go.
….with love from Cornelia
Topics: Costume, For Brides, Inspiration, Remembrances, Women's Notes | No Comments »
Passionate Musings
By Cornelia Powell | September 10, 2008
Musing on what I’m “passionate” about has been swirling in my life lately: researching and writing books (and getting them published!), creating products that bring an abundance of spirit to all, readying to move in to my little “green” cabin on my magical “bed of crystals” mountainside, being in the glory of these beautiful western North Carolina mountains (I’m nestled between the Blue Ridge and the Smokies), and sweet connections with new friends.
In the midst of all this, my “Internet” friend, Ann Grogan of ROMANTASY: Exquisite Corsetry, sent me an article she wrote to possibly use on one of my sites. So I wanted to share it with you. If custom-made corsets don’t get your passionate juices flowing, then perhaps baseball will! Here’s an excerpt from the article by Ann, titled Baseball & Brides:
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“Baseball and brides — an unlikely combination you say?
“So I thought until I received Cornelia’s latest inspirational e-newsletter for brides-to-be. Her newsletter always motivates me to pause during my busy day to re-focus on what really matters. (I’m glad for our serendipitous connection via the miraculous Internet which, despite its drawbacks, can be connectivity at its best.)
”I recently saw the public television show ‘Between the Lines’ and host Barry Kubrick’s interview of baseball great and author, Cal Ripkin, Jr. When Cal used the phrase ’stay within yourself’ it caught my attention.
“As I understand it, although I haven’t read his book Get In the Game, it was when Cal’s expectations of himself got too high that he let himself down based on his actual performance. However, when he ’stayed within himself’ — stayed true to himself — he made the most evident and personally rewarding progress in his performance as an athlete and his role as a husband and family man.
“I mused on how his observation might apply to my life and experience, and to my personal appreciation for, and love and understanding of, fine custom corsetry.
“As the proprietress of a custom corset business, I immediately thought of the figure ’staying within’ the confines of a foundation garment or a fine corset. (Incidentally, in Victorian times, corsets were called ’stays’ or ‘a pair of stays,’ so Cal’s comments seem particularly appropriate to my corset musings!)
“I advise my clients — including brides-to-be — about the best style and design options as well as best construction techniques that will result in a garment that will comfortably control their entire torso. For brides, this ensures that they will ’stay within’ their gown, creating the lovely enhanced image desired for their wedding day.
“Cal’s comment also reminded me of one of the key principles I use to guide my life: never take myself too seriously. When I tend to let my ego get out of control and not ’stay within’ my true self and recognize what’s real, unhappiness inevitably follows.
“I notice that when my bridal clients ’stay within’ their own spirit and focus on the purpose of their upcoming celebration, my design sessions and fittings with them go smoothly and happily. (And I bet this spills over into their wedding experience as well.)
“Here’s to your ongoing commitment to live a life that ’stays within’ the heart of your personal bliss!”
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Thanks, Ann…..and do you want to know more about Ann Grogan? She continues her musings from her Baseball & Brides article about two of her passions — her 18 year-old business and story of personal romance (”at my amazingly ripe old age of almost 65 years young!”). Read on…
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”I struggled, basically by myself, for the first eight long years owning and operating a lingerie boutique in San Francisco. I invested far more personal energy and finances than perhaps I should have before accepting the reality that I was paddling up stream. I was afraid to give up and close my store, mainly because I had invested so much emotionally in what others might think of me and my ‘failure.’
“It was only when I stepped outside the paradigm of ‘failure’ and replaced it with one of ‘transition’ that I was able to move on to embrace the marvelous new opportunities the Internet presented for me. I am now going on ten much happier and more successful years thanks to ’staying within’ what was consistent with my heart’s desire!
“Regarding romance, it was not until I ‘gave up’ making lists of and visualizing qualities I wanted in my ‘perfect partner’ and started to focus on becoming more of the person I wanted to be — and living the quality of daily life that increased my deep personal satisfaction — that, at age 58, my life partner appeared. When I started to focus more specifically on and ’stay within’ the core values in which I believed, the universe sent — and more to the point, I was able to recognize — the treasure who is my loving partner today.”
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Many thanks again, Ann, for your insights and passion!
Cornelia
Topics: Costume, For Brides, Inspiration, Relationship, Women's Notes | No Comments »
WITHOUT LIMITS
By Cornelia Powell | August 26, 2008
[Inspired by the recent Olympics in China, I was reading some "memoirs" from my life changing spiritual journey there several years ago. My trip to China in the autumn of 2000 with a group of Qi Gong buddies and teachers was a "break-open" experience for me: I left my perceived 'limitations' as a writer at the bottom of an azure blue lake in magical Jiu Zhai Gou. Below is one of the articles I wrote about the experience after my return -- now "re-inspiring" me with 'limitless' possibilities]:
Isn’t it interesting what it takes to open up your world — to expand what you think are your boundaries and limits? I suppose I didn’t have to go to the other side of the world to discover a part of me that was there all along, but you never know where you might find the key.
Early on during my trip to China, I had this realization: I was in the presence of such immense beauty and among such tranquil people that it would be a sacrilege to complain about the lack of toilet paper! And after that, nothing was daunting or limiting, everything a captivating and moving experience.
While traveling in this vast country, we saw magnificent agriculture created out of seemingly impossible conditions: apple orchards planted in the only small patch of level ground in what was otherwise a sheer cliff; steep mountainsides painstakingly terraced to contain small tea tree farms; lush vegetable gardens growing right up to the roadside. No terrain was considered limiting in producing abundance of some sort.
In southwestern China near Songpan, settled hundreds of years ago by Tibetan Buddhists, our group was invited into the colorful warm home of a Tibetan farm woman. Whatever cultural boundaries that could have restricted us disappeared as she chatted away, serving yak cheese tea and steamed buns to these dazzled pale strangers. Although not understanding her words, we savored every moment of her unlimited hospitality and graciousness.
The Taoist priests and priestesses we met on Wudang Mountain, where my teacher Master Chen had trained since he was six years old, were kind and serene and deeply engaged in their healing work. Their austere surroundings were not at all limiting to them but provided a rich resource full of a legacy of contribution and respect.
When we had the honor of meeting Master Chen’s 128 year-old teacher, fragile yet strong in her will and spirit, she spoke to us about her ‘next’ project of rebuilding the ancient Taoist temple where she lived. I wondered at the time if this woman, whose life had overlapped three different centuries, had ever considered anything an obstacle.
I brought back home with me the inspiration of this boundless spirit, welcoming it into my world. And today if I slip into a sense of feeling limited somehow, I remember that at one time someone saw the possibility of apple trees flourishing where someone else had seen only a forbiddingly steep mountain of hard rock.
Jian Kang Kuai Le!
[Hmmmm...there is something to revisiting memories and bringing a bit of that 'limitless magic' of travel adventures back into the present with you!]
Love. Listen. Let go.
… with love from Cornelia
Topics: Inspiration, Meditation, Remembrances, Women's Notes | No Comments »
By the Numbers: “Counting” Gratitude
By Cornelia Powell | August 8, 2008
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.
-Meister Eckhart, 14th century
Numbers play a big part in planning a wedding: the size of the guest list, how many attendants to have, the price of the reception, the size of your wedding’s carbon imprint. Whether it’s about staying within your budget, being as “green” as possible, or including all of his relatives, you’re busy counting while planning a wedding!
It’s not always easy to get the numbers to match your heart’s desire in the simplest of circumstances, but it becomes especially challenging when planning a wedding since you’re attempting to stuff so much into one event. And you do want to please everyone, even when you know that’s impossible, and that the more “enlightened” way to go about this is to take a deep breath, center yourself, and just be “at one with the universe.” (But then there is his Aunt Hattie who is impossible to please and impossible to ignore.)
I’m reminded of the quote from writer Eric Hoffer: The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. Hmmmm. What if planning your wedding became about “counting your blessings” first, then taking a head count second? What if being grateful was always first on your “to do” list? How would it change your life if everything followed “thank you”?
Philosopher Alfred Painter said: Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality. So whether you have only a dozen people at your wedding or you fill a grand ballroom, the spirit of your wedding comes from the gratitude in your heart and how you share it, yes?
If indeed saying “thank you” is like saying a prayer, then offer up your gratitude in countless ways, and the blessings of your wedding day will be abundant — no matter how you count them!
Love. Listen. Let go.
… with love from Cornelia
Topics: For Brides, Relationship, Women's Notes | No Comments »
THE MAGIC OF COLLABORATION
By Cornelia Powell | July 26, 2008
Several people have asked recently how I came to make my OPEN YOUR HEART Meditation CD. So I’ll share the story as told in one of my newsletters last fall with brides-to-be in mind…but for everyone to enjoy!
Last August I was in Ashland, Oregon — an artistic community in the high desert region of southern Oregon — where a little bit of collaboration magic happened! A friend there, who I met through Internet marketing projects, is a musician of fine talents, and we recorded a meditation CD together! Daniel Sperry played cello and keyboard and coordinated with Richard Williams, who played a variety of Japanese flutes and Middle Eastern string instruments, to create a heavenly background to my readings. A glorious collaboration!
Out of the recording session came two meditation CDs — one especially for brides and one for ”all women.” Both CDs encourage you to take some “planned stillness time” each day — and guide you through a “refreshment of ease” break!
For this recording collaboration, Daniel found a little studio nestled in the Ashland countryside near Eden Farms; a peaceful place where mistreated and sick horses are taken to be tended to and loved. It was a sweet, serene, healing environment for us to work.
Other words for collaboration are partnership, teamwork, cooperation, connection, liaison, and relationship. What lovely and powerful words. No wonder this experience was such a blessing and a joy — having all that connective energy going for it!
Planning a wedding is perhaps the ultimate collaboration and opportunity. This is one of those times — even if you like to do everything yourself — that a woman gets to practice allowing herself to be supported and “attended to” by others. A time to learn teamwork and cooperation if you’re bit of a control person. A perfect opportunity to deepen relationships or make new ones; letting go of being right and just practice being happy! What better occasion than your time as a bride, mother-of-the-bride or -groom to create liaisons with artists who inspire you? A perfect time to connect deeply — or reconnect and heal estranged relationships — with family members and old friends.
Hmmmm. There’s something to this collaboration business, yes? Is every collaboration an opportunity to create either joy or misery? Seems as though life is always giving us collaboration opportunities to find out!
Love. Listen. Let go.
… with love from Cornelia
Topics: For Brides, Meditation, Relationship, Stillness & Relaxation | No Comments »
Coming Into Your Artistic Expression
By Cornelia Powell | July 14, 2008
The defining function of the artist is to cherish consciousness.
-Max Eastman
If you talk to an artist about their inspiration, new worlds open up! As I continue exploring where our inspirations come from and what it takes to shift our limited belief of what we can accomplish and who we can “be,” I find artist Genie Maples’ story a perfect illustration.
I met Genie in her gallery at the River Arts District Studio Show in Asheville, North Carolina recently. She calls her contemporary oil paintings, “visual poetry” — and I loved the language they spoke and could feel the intimacy in the room. Genie’s space was full of spirit and life.
Genie shared with me later how she came to painting as a late bloomer. “I was over 40 when I started painting and had no idea it was something I could do to make a living. I had drawn as a child, but kept it private,” she explained. She then assisted her own little girls with art projects for years, and one day she had an experience that changed everything.
“I was pouring their paints into the sink, watching the colors go down the drain. There was this soft, buttery yellow color that mesmerized me. I didn’t want to pour it out; I just wanted to put it on paper.”
So she did. First the yellow, then some blue. (Perhaps not unlike the first painting I saw of Genie’s that day in the entrance of the multi-artist studio. The painting that led me up the stairs to find what I didn’t know I was looking for.)
Like many artists who say that their inspiration “comes out of nowhere”, call it spirit or a higher power, but something seems to take over and flow through them, Genie takes it further.
“Yes, there’s spontaneity when I paint, where what goes on canvas seems to come from somewhere else. But there’s also a rational procedure.” Genie describes a process where she’s learned to combine what feels like a “clear ego” with a spiritual inspiration, creating a two-fold process. “Thinking consciously, and staying present. It feels like I’m bringing my whole self to my work.”
Genie works in all sizes of canvases, and since I’m building a tiny log cabin on my magical mountainside with little wall space, I selected a like-wise tiny painting. Hanging right on the inside of her doorway, I kept coming back to the six-inch square titled “Her Heart.” I decided this was perfect, in size and message to bring home with me.
When I told Genie of my selection, like many artists, she seemed happy with how her art matched its new home, therefore at peace with letting it go. I thanked her by saying a little intentional “slip of the tongue”: Instead of “art” I said, “Thank you for sharing your heart with me.”
Same thing.
Love. Listen. Let go.
… with love from Cornelia
Topics: Remembrances, Women's Notes | No Comments »
Finding the Artist Inside
By Cornelia Powell | June 30, 2008
The job of the artist is to deepen the mystery.
-Francis Bacon
I attended the River Arts District Studio Show recently in Asheville, North Carolina. In an old warehouse area on the French Broad River that’s been converted to artists’ studios, and for two weekends a year, the artists display their hearts and souls on shelves and walls and racks.
Not only did I get to meet some wonderful artists for the first time, but I got to be back in touch with an artist friend from Atlanta who now lives in Asheville. It’s been about ten years since I’ve seen Fran Welch and her “ethereal art,” and I noticed a new depth, maturity, and womanliness, an other-worldly quality in her work that had only been suggested before.
Self-Expression
Fran’s main medium is clay, her pieces are mostly small and intimate in their size and nature. I asked Fran about creating her art as a self-expression and she immediately answered, “It’s my exercise in terror.”
I repeated “terror” to be sure I understood her and at the same time, I got what she meant and appreciated the courage of her reply.
“It’s like pulling yourself from the inside; how far you want to expose yourself, how far do you want to connect in to the world’s consciousness,” she continued. “It’s like jumping off a cliff, free-falling …. and if I don’t have passionate energy, if I’m not into it, it doesn’t sell.”
What level of surrender does it take for the artist for her art to tap into such heart-depths in others?
Fran’s delicate clay figures are calming, smile-making, and take my imagination inside. I asked Fran about the nurturing quality in the creative process for her. “Clay is healing, organic, grounding — and it’s methodical,” she shared.
“Therefore it becomes a meditative process for you, like a moving meditation?” I asked.
“Yes, and it’s sensual, it speaks to me, uncurling tight places,” she replied. “I’ll notice myself thinking, ‘Oh, I can’t say that’, but then there’s something left to ‘come out of me’.”
No wonder Fran’s art feels tender and intimate and full of love. I like how I feel when I’m around it, like I’ve been allowed in the private entrance of the Secret Garden just as the fairies and gnomes begin their ritual dance!
Finding the Artist Inside
What is your art? Whether painting or writing or sewing, or playing with your children, or setting a table, or riding a bicycle, or sweeping your porch. Can’t any activity become an artistic expression?
Fran speaks about the inner woman becoming process of creating, not about her “art.” Is it this journeying process, like a rite-of-passage, that is the heart of the matter?
Is creating art like drawing from a well inside you? (Not like artifice, but art as the expression of something intimate and beautiful.) And the more real and intimate its expression, the deeper into the well you’ve gone; the more you’ve let go of artifice and, indeed, found something like spirit or soul or the mystery, as Francis Bacon spoke of. You’ve found something that feels like home — safe and warm; yet perhaps at first, terrifying in its moment of release.
The French writer and film maker Jean Cocteau said, “An artist cannot speak about his art any more than a plant can discuss horticulture.” Like love, perhaps art is best expressed with how it makes us feel, where it takes us, what we dream about after it’s had its way with us!
Art, love, spirit — just synonyms for life?
Love. Listen. Let go.
… with love from Cornelia
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MASQUERADE: WHAT IS YOUR MASK?
By Cornelia Powell | June 23, 2008
I’ve just returned from New Orleans — the city of masks and disguise and carnivale. Along with museum curators, teachers, collectors and designers, I attended the annual symposium of the Costume Society of America.
Our delightful keynote speaker from New Zealand, James Acheson (costume designer for films such as The Last Emperor, Dangerous Liaisons, and the Spiderman trilogy) focused on “the dilemma of disguise.”
This reminded me of the “disguise” (and the “dilemma” as well) of wedding attire for brides. Is this part of the appeal of a woman becoming a bride — dressing up like a “princess,” being in the ceremonial spotlight, delighting in the magical freedom of masquerade? I’ll share parts of an article I wrote after another visit to New Orleans years ago.
Clothes can transform you — inside and out. History shows that one’s character changes during the ritual of dressing for a ceremony: a military man putting on his garb for a presentation; a geisha artfully layering herself for an evenings’ entertainment; a bride being dressed for her wedding.
The fit and feel of clothes determine your outward presentation: how you perceive yourself as well as how you are perceived; your freedom of movement or lack of it. (This is part of the popularity of those ubiquitous strapless wedding gowns, but that’s another story!)
You take on a different persona in ceremonial garb. Is it play-acting or is it closer to your true nature? Is it a way you prepare to receive the revealing spotlight of attention, like a protective shell?
Colleagues of mine who are expert in the masquerade traditions — Carnivale and Mardi Gras — speak about the freedom that comes with the “masking” effect of costumes:
“Masking often results in transformation, if only temporarily. A new face and different attire allows a masker to transcend his or her everyday life and construct a new self, an altered psyche. It is this ability to escape the prosaic that bestows the magic and power of carnival.” (From a 2004 exhibition at Louisiana State Museum in New Orleans.)
Recognizing a brides’ power and appeal to the supernatural worlds, some old ethnic cultures still use the tradition of completely covering the bride in an opaque veil to keep her “out of harm’s way.” In our modern society, a bride’s entire costume could be considered a “mask” or buffer to sheathe her as she moves through her rite-of-passage, and as in ancient times, a way of keeping her apart, safely cocooned.
A bride dresses in clothing not like everyday life; and even if she is unaware, she’s dressing for the pageantry of a transformational ritual. Her special costume, the wedding pageantry, and the attention focused on the bride all combine to create an otherworldly effect. This masquerade quality generates a sense of freedom, an empowering feeling of portraying the heroine, the magical sense of being a princess.
Are these the underlying characteristics that keep pomp & circumstance wedding ceremonies popular and the mystique of the bride in tact — even in our modern, over-exposed culture?
Looking for an organizational slogan, my elegant fashion colleague, Kay King of Houston, declares: “Clothes have clout!” And wedding costumes have power and magic that continue their mysterious masquerade.
You may not be dressing for a rite-of-passage or formal presentation today, but when you’re dressing, pay attention to what changes in your posture, in your thoughts as you put on (or take off!) layers of clothing, as you add make-up or jewelry. Just notice. Notice if there is a bit of masquerade about you today….and how much of your true nature indeed shines through.
Love. Listen. Let go.
… with love from Cornelia
Topics: Costume, For Brides, Remembrances, Women's Notes | No Comments »
FRAGRANCE & CONNECTION
By Cornelia Powell | June 12, 2008
I love how a certain scent can bring a sweet distant memory into focus. On a walk the other morning, the smell of honeysuckle took me on a childhood journey of adventure with my father. I remembered how we would pick armloads of wildflowers in the piney woods of our Alabama farm, and then surprise my mother with our fragrant bounty!
My aromatherapist friends remind me that none of our senses are more related to the emotions than the sense of smell. The pure fragrance of essential oils encourages the link between the right and left sides of the brain, connecting how we feel to how we think. Scents are a part of the delicate balancing act of the body and mind, the heart and brain. But to really understand the power and magic of scent, they say, one must experience it.
Hmmmm. That’s a bit like love, isn’t it? With love, we experience the movement of energy that rushes through the body and seems to fill our heart, leaving us a bit light-headed! And like experiencing a fragrance — breathing in the sweet scent of a rose, for instance — the experience of “love” brings all of our other senses into play. We seem more aware of the world around us; we become more balanced and settled into a deeper place inside our heart.
If aromatic essential oils are considered messengers of nature (speaking to our inner nature through fragrance, not words) then love may be considered the messenger of our true spirit, speaking the language of connection and harmony of our inner and outer worlds. The perfect envoy of true partnership.
No wonder brides have used scented flowers through the ages, not only for their beauty, but for their soothing, balancing effect … and connection to the heart.
Take three deep breaths, breathing in the fragrance of love … breathing out whatever doesn’t feel harmonious and balanced in your world. And listen closely to the stillness … there are messages that come to us in very delicate, subtle ways.
Love. Listen. Let go.
… with love from Cornelia
Topics: For Brides, Relationship, Remembrances, Women's Notes | No Comments »
A SOFT-FOCUS WORLD
By Cornelia Powell | June 2, 2008
We live in a world where we tend to “hard focus” most of our waking time: concentrating, figuring things out, trying to remember a myriad of facts and details — over-using the thinking mind. Sound familiar?
Resting the eyes is one way to have a quick and relaxing “refreshment of ease.” By closing out the visual stimulation of your busy world for a bit — and using your breath and intention — you can quiet your mind, find an inner stillness, and see the world anew!
One simple tip is to remember to “soft focus” when you are reading or using the computer or talking with someone or just sitting and thinking. Soft focus is allowing your eyes to relax into their sockets, like they’re floating — instead of pushing them out.
Notice right now which you are doing and allow your eyes to relax, letting go of anything “hard” or forceful — simply allowing the eyes to see. Just having the awareness of this distinction can decrease your eye strain and make a difference in your energy level.
Whether you are planning a wedding or planning what’s for dinner — I invite you to “soft focus” your way through the process!
Take a break often in your day and do this little exercise: close your eyes; take a couple of deep breaths; and roll your eyes slowly 360 degrees to the right; then repeat, rolling them slowly to the left; stretching your eyes as you’re taking deep breaths. Repeat as often as you can. (Since we hold a great deal of tension in our eyes, doing this exercise right before bed is a great way to relax and ease into a restful night’s sleep — when you rest your eyes, your whole body feels more relaxed.)
Rest your eyes, your mind clears. Your mind clears, your eyes see more.
Love. Listen. Let go.
… with love from Cornelia
Topics: Meditation, Stillness & Relaxation, Women's Notes | No Comments »
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